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OLD FASHIONED…still works

January 21, 2013

Some of the old ways are the best ways STILL. Let them catch you if your worth having. Who proposed to whom?

Why Being “Friendly” Could Be Pushing Men Away… And What To Do Instead To Have Them Pursuing YOU Online And Off

Friend,

Social media has drastically changed the way we relate to each other – the lines between friendship and romance are more blurred than ever. But that doesn’t mean that men & women don’t have the same needs – especially when it comes to attraction, dating, & forming lasting, secure relationships.

Facebook in particular has completely altered the playing field – no longer do you need to wait for a guy to track you down & ask for your number…or wonder how to get him yours. All you have to do is friend him on Facebook, right? Then maybe invite him to an event, post a little note on his wall…

Or do you do these things? Will it scare him away? Do you just sit back & wait for him to make the first move? Just how are you supposed to relate to a man these days…& attract him on a deep, profound level?

Have The Man You Want Come To You

I know it can feel so frustrating to just sit back and wait for a man to do all the pursuing and all the planning – you feel like he’s just going to slip away if you don’t DO something!

Here’s what you can do instead: Watch my Targeting Mr. Right program online. It will fill you with so much ATTRACTIVE confidence and teach you the skills you need to draw to you the right man – and faster than you ever thought possible:

Watch Now
Do You Really Just Want To Be His Friend?

Facebook distorts the traditional gender roles, giving online interactions what I call a “false sense of casualness.” Everything seems so innocent and benign online.

But this may surprise you: Something that feels simple and casual to you – like a friendly “hello” on his wall – can actually feel intense, aggressive, and pressuring to him. He’ll sense there’s an urgency to your communication, even though you thought you were just being friendly.

The result is that the guy’s inner drive to pursue you is pre-empted – leaving YOU in the position of pursuer. This in turn leaves you feeling extremely vulnerable, because if you are the pursuer, then that means you have turned your power over to him. You have given him the power to decide whether or not to accept your advances. And I don’t have to tell you how bad this feels.

When you chase a man, not only do you unwittingly push him away, you also don’t give him the chance to show you how HE really feels about you.

I go more in depth into all of this in my audio program Reconnect Your Relationship – it’s all about striking the right balance of masculine/feminine energy – and you can listen to it right here:

Listen To Reconnect
Or you can read all about it (including how I stopped being the pursuer and how you can have your man chasing you all over again) in my eBook Have The Relationship You Want:

Download My eBook
As long as you’re the one running the show (in your masculine or boy energy), he may follow, but he will never feel inspired to be with you of his own will. And you will never know what it feels like to be adored. He has no reason to step up to the plate and pursue you, because he doesn’t HAVE to.

So What Does Chasing Look Like?

In short, chasing is any time you do something first rather than responding to something he has already done. It’s what happens when you initiate any kind of contact. And we do it without even realizing it. It looks most obviously like this:

Friending him first
Tagging him to appear on his wall
Writing on his wall – even if it’s just “innocently” sharing something that you think he’d like
Inviting him to events or in any way acting like the social director of your relationship
Sending him “harmless” messages
Checking in on him
Asking him why he hasn’t Friended you
Surprise, You’re Chasing

You might think being “friendly” is the same as showing interest in a man. In fact, you might think that you NEED to let a man know you’re interested, or he’ll slip away. So, you try to be “cool” and casual with him, thinking that if you do he won’t notice that you’re actually chasing him.

But the truth is that you are. The way to a man’s heart is NOT to be his friend. You see, if you really don’t feel anything romantic for a man, then your vibe will feel just friendly to him. But when you’re attracted to him, your vibe is different. He’ll SENSE that you’re interested and covering it up.

And don’t be misled – when you chase like this, he may actually like it. He may go along with it. He may be flattered. He might date you because there’s no ones else around. But you will never know how he REALLY feels about you, because you haven’t given him the chance to show you without your prodding.

What’s Your Degree Of Difficulty?

Nope, I’m not talking about Facebook games or even playing games with a man – just the opposite. Your “Degree of Difficulty” is how hard a man has to work to get you.

Men are wired to value what they have to invest in – whether that means time, energy, or money. By chasing a man – and making it too easy for him to get you – you are lowering your Degree of Difficulty. He no longer feels he has won a prize, and he can no longer fall in love.

You raise your Degree of Difficulty by stopping all efforts in his direction and by boomeranging all that energy to yourself. You make your life full and whole without him, filling it up with everything you love – friends, family, hobbies, passions, work.

You also set – and stick by – clear boundaries. Boundaries are limits to what you will and will not tolerate.

Doing these two things will naturally inspire a man to come forward, value you, and chase you.

Let’s take a closer look at how Facebook fits into all of this…

What to do when he sends you a friend request

You have a few options here. If he’s a new guy you’re seeing, you’re under no obligation to add him. You don’t even have to give him a reason. Not adding him will not cause him to lose interest – just the opposite. He will try to figure out what he needs to do to get you there.

How much and how little to post on his wall

It can be so tempting to just sneak a little note onto his wall. But unless you’ve been going out at least three months, think twice about this. You want your interactions with a new man to be in person as much as possible so that he gets used to seeing you, smelling you, and touching you. This is the only way he will CRAVE you. Don’t cheat yourself or him by giving away little pieces of yourself under the guise of Facebook.

Now, if it’s his birthday or everyone else is commenting, then of course you can comment. Listen to your heart before you do. It will tell you what your true intention is behind what you’re about to post – if you’re doing it to get his attention and try to make something happen, you’ll feel it. Don’t do it. Close your browser. Go for a run. See if you still feel like posting after you do that.

Use Facebook to nourish your interests and other relationships

Remember when I said that being into yourself is the best way to get him into you? Well, use Facebook to cultivate friendships, develop your interests by joining groups, and making sure your profile reflects the very best parts of you.

Take a good, honest look at your profile and cut out anything that doesn’t reflect your passions. Make it a place that will show a guy what makes you tick… but leave some things out so he gets to find out certain things only by being close to you.

Go From Chaser… To Chooser

Learning to stop doing all the things that push men away and start living from your feminine self takes a lot of practice… as well as undoing the negative patterns that have been holding you back from the love you deserve.

Thankfully, you don’t have to struggle on your own or go through any more heartbreak to get there. I’ve put together my eBook Have The Relationship You Want so that you can quickly and effortlessly learn everything that took me years and tears to figure out.

Once you read my eBook, you’ll understand exactly what chasing looks like, how it pushes men away, and how to reverse all that fast – including simple adjustments in your words and body language that will naturally attract the right man toward you.

You’ll learn all about how to stay in your feminine energy so that you naturally compel a man to be fully in his masculine energy and chase YOU. Discovering this is what allowed me to finally meet my husband and create the decades-long marriage we enjoy today. So don’t waste another minute without the love you deserve:

Read My eBook Now RISK-FREE($19.99).
If I could turn my love life around, you can, too. You can be pursued like a goddess, no matter what’s going on right now.

I’m always here for you, and I look forward to hearing your success story!

Love, Rori

Reconnect Your Relationship

Turn your relationship around and inspire his devotion:

Create a deep bond with a man
Undo the damage and reconnect
Heart-break proof your relationship
Learn More Now
My Brand-New eBook

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