Husband Said He Couldn’t AFFORD His Wife As A Stay-At-Home-Mom And Wrote THIS Amazing Letter–Whoa!
“You are more precious than rubies.”
This couple made the difficult decision that once their son was born, his wife (the mom) would stay home and care for their son, house and home.
But it wasn’t long before this husband realized something incredibly important. He could not afford for his wife to stay home. Keep reading..there’s a twist and it made me smile with joy as he expressed his appreciation for his wife and her work!!
Steven Nelms has been married to wife, Gloriana (Glory for short) for 3 years. Together, they have a two-year-old son named Ezra.
When Steven and Glory got married, Glory worked while Steven finished up school. Once their son was born, it didn’t seem financially possible for Glory to go back to work. Nelms explains.
“With childcare costs it would’ve been a wash with her income at best. So we decided that she would stay home as long as it made sense.”
In an attempt to appreciate all of the work Glory does for the family, he put a numerical value on it. Nelms posted this profound essay entitled “We Are Glory.”
“I’ve had this thought in my head for a while now. I’ve been thinking that I can’t afford for my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, I don’t at all mean to offend anyone with this post. I just have to say that for me personally, I can’t afford it… I mean that I quite literally cannot afford my wife to be staying at home. Here’s why…
My wife stays home and takes care of our son every single day. She changes his diapers, feeds him, plays with him, puts him down for his nap, and comforts him when he’s upset. And that’s just the bare minimum.
A child can typically get that attention at a day-care. Let’s face it. In our day and age… there is a company ready and willing to do just about anything for our children. So while, yes, my wife is my son’s mother and it is a natural result of being a parent to love and care for your own child, there is also a very quantifiable dollar amount that can be attributed to the services rendered. I am in no way trying to simplify, objectify, or devalue the priceless love of a mother for her child.
But let’s be real. Pay day feels good for a reason. Because you’re seeing your hard work appreciated in a tangible way. And this is exactly why I can’t afford my wife being a Stay-At-Home Mom. The national average weekly salary for a full-time nanny is $705. That’s $36,660 a year.
We make ends meet comfortably and are by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel… [but] the services rendered of caring for our child every single day of the year would absorb the majority of our income. Flat out, no question, game over, I cannot afford my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. And that’s just the beginning of it.
Nelms explains further based on his own personal findings:
Cleaning Service: $50-100 per visit once a week = $5,200 a year.
Personal Shopper (running the errands like buying groceries and “a new pack of white undershirts”): $65 per hour at 4 hours a week = $13,525 a year.
Chef (lunch and dinner): $240 a week = $12,480 a year.
“So far we’re looking at a grand total of $67,860! Remember, we’re working with extremely conservative averages here.”
Nelms takes it a step further:
Financial Assistant (paying the bills, finances, budgeting): $15 an hour — add $75 an hour if your wife plays a part in “professional interactions” like business dinners as, according to Nelms, the average for a PR assistant is $75 per hour.
Laundry: $25 a week, minimum.
“Let’s average 5 hours a week on financial services, 4 hours per business dinner (about 3 a year), and a weekly laundry service. Add that onto our very conservative estimates for childcare, house cleaning, and shopping, and that’s an annual salary of $73,960. Looking objectively at an almost insultingly conservative average of the services rendered, I cannot afford my wife.”
“My wife sometimes feels patronized when I ask her permission to buy something for myself. She feels like it’s my money and my name on the paycheck so I shouldn’t have to ask permission to get myself something every once in a while. The truth is, I’m ashamed of any time I’ve ever made her feel guilty or humored when she’s purchased something for herself. I’m ashamed that she has ever felt like she doesn’t have just as much right to our income as I do. The fact of the matter is that our income doesn’t even come close to covering what she does for our family. I would have to make over 100K to even begin to be able to cover my living expenses as well as employ my wife as a Stay-At-Home Mom!
In short, I can’t afford for my wife to stay at home. And I’ve tragically failed to show my wife the appreciation that she deserves. She loves me, loves our son, and loves our family, so obviously she isn’t doing any of those things for a paycheck or even for recognition. But it certainly doesn’t hurt to know that as a Stay-At-Home Mom her appraised salary is nearly double my actual income. So, in a very weird way, this is my way of saying how much I value my wife as the mother of my child and the one who always has my back no matter what. You are more precious than rubies. And I can’t afford you.“
Way to go, Steven and WELL SAID! Your powerful words will hopefully encourage others around you to determine for themselves what works for their household. Regardless, your words of love and appreciation for your wife and her work are beautiful! A model all husbands and wives can follow. Blessings on you, your wife and your son!
A Boy At School Snapped Her Bra. What She Did Next Is Gold.
This story will get you fired up, but I’m certain you’ll be satisfied with the outcome. A female student stands up for her rights and refuses to be bullied…and when the Mom arrives – she defends her daughter’s actions perfectly! Women should not have to deal with these situations, so why allow this to happen to children?
Read on below…
I’m an Emergency Room nurse and we’re not allowed to have our phones on us; they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call comes into hospital reception on a private line for me.
Phone: “This is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”
Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”
Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another student. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”
I go to the school and am ushered into the Principal’s office. I see my daughter, her advisor, a male teacher, the principal, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.
Principal: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”
Me: “Yeah, things get busy in the ER. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had snapped my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face… twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)
Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”
(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)
Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”
Advisor: “Let’s not over-react.”
Principal: “I think you’re missing the point.”
(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)
Daughter: “He kept snapping my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”
(I turn to the teacher.)
Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”
Teacher: “What?! No!”
Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Advisor]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mother’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”
Principal: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”
Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 160 pounds. She’s 5 feet and 84 pounds. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered, what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”
(The boy’s mom is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the principal.)
Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learned his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the school administrators. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “—EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”
I was so angry, I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the School Board, several of whom I know, and was assured it would be strongly dealt with.
My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.
TOMORROW – WHO IS NEXT?
I woke up this morning and saw his face everywhere. I kept hoping that it was just another rumor, and that someone had it wrong. I felt the ache wash over me, that pain in my heart that had only just begun to heal.
I saw his face, his body dressed in that familiar blue, his eyes made serious for his official picture. 25 years old – and gone. Officer Brian Moore. Who will mourn him? Who will even remember his name? The names of violent criminals have become common on the lips of everyone in this country, while he, and the thousands more like him go quietly to their graves, their sacrifice deemed less important on the nightly news than the birth of a royal child overseas or a has-been celebrity’s big announcement.
There is no way to explain what happened. Not this time, nor any other.
All the feelings rush in, all over again. Horror at the act, rage at the injustice, relief that it wasn’t my own who died, and guilt over that relief. “Hey, did you hear about that cop who was shot?” I hear people casually ask in the store, and I struggle to hold back my tears. Has it come to this? His brutal and vicious murder is merely another topic over lunch break?
My husband’s eyes are full of pain, betrayal. Another life lost, but no connection will be made in the minds of the public. The criminals and the evil hearts grow more confident by the day, sure that whatever happens, they will riot and yell and throw nation-wide tantrums until they have beaten the good into the ground.
But the good never dies forever. You can burn the cities, pillage the stores, spit on their graves, and accuse them unjustly, and yet tomorrow my husband will once again stand up and serve. He will put on that uniform and wear it proudly, his heart battered but never weak.
He will walk the streets you are afraid to travel.
He will face the horror you see only on your screens.
He will hold the bruised, beaten body of a toddler and sing her the lullabies he sings to his children.
He will watch young people throw their lives away, buying into the lies and agenda of rich, soul-less politicians, and his helplessness will make him angry.
He will try desperately to hold onto his humanity, sometimes by the smallest thread, while all around him he is surrounded by man’s inhumanity to man.
And I – every day, I will kiss him goodbye, never sure that I will feel his lips on mine again. Every knock, every phone call will fill me dread, and every news report will make me scream inside. Today, Officer Moore. Tomorrow – who is next?
Tonight, I will fall asleep in his arms, sure that for these few hours, he is safe and he is well.
Tomorrow – we will begin it all again.
Hi! I’m Anna – New York wife and mama. I love my man, my babies, my Faith, and all things home-related. Except ironing. DO NOT ASK ME TO IRON. ;) This blog is my online scrapbook of anything and everything that relates to our family life. Thanks for stopping by!
Political or not, right is and wrong is dead wrong. What started as a means to control the population of a certain nationality…oh, please! A Catholic mom wanted more for her children and decided the best way to rid the world of black people was to abort their babies! Then incurred the wrath of the Priests, because it violated the sixth commandment to not commit murder. That said the second subject in the post is about homosexuality, which I personally detest. I will take God’s word for what He said. He created women to wives of men, He created Eve for Adam and me for a specific man. Don’t like it or approve. So sorry you feel as you do, but those decisions were made before I was born.
Political Correctness Oxymoron
“But thou, O man of God, ‘flee’ these things; and ‘follow‘ after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. ‘Fight‘ the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses” (’emphasis’ mine).1
If there were ever a day when people and churches need to take a stand for moral living it is today. If abortionists and homosexuals have their way it may, in the not too distant future, be a crime for anyone, including the church, to quote the Bible regarding these issues and argue for God’s position. Just writing on this topic is bound to get me criticized—it pretty much always does.
According to Chuck Colson: “Particularly some younger evangelicals are suggesting that we stay away from divisive issues like abortion and homosexuality altogether and just go back and be like the first-century Church—stay out of politics, tend to our spiritual knitting.
“I wonder what early Church they are talking about. Take just the issue of abortion. The early Church was outspokenly pro-life right from the beginning just as the Jews had been. In the second chapter of the Didache, one of the first discipleship books for young Christians written in the first century, was this stern injunction: ‘Thou shall not murder a child by abortion nor kill them when born.’ Justin Martyr wrote about this in his first apology. And in the second century, Athenagoras wrote a plea to Emperor Marcus Aurelius: ‘We say that women that use drugs to bring abortion commit murder and will have to give an account to God for the abortion.'”2
Churches and Christians who refuse or fail to take a stand for that which is morally right according to God’s Word are not like the early Christians. They are being controlled by political correctness which, in reality (much of it) is political incorrectness and will, if we continue to allow it, eventually weaken and make the church ineffective as it has become in much of Europe. While Jesus always loved sinners, He never approved of sinful behaviors in any form—nor was He ever concerned about being politically correct.
Had He been, we would not have a Savior or the gift of salvation and God’s forgiveness. We would be eternally lost.
Today, Christian churches and we who call ourselves Christians need to stand up and be counted; that is, as the Apostle Paul commissioned Timothy: Flee all sinful immoral behavior … Followafter righteousness … and Fight the good fight for truth and that which is morally correct rather than that which is politically correct.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God please give me a love for Your Word and a clear understanding of it so I will know in my heart and mind that which is morally correct according to Your standards. And give me the courage to make a stand always for that which is right in Your sight; to flee all sinful behaviors; to follow after righteousness; and to fight Your good fight. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”
1. The Apostle Paul (1 Timothy 6:11-12, KJV).
2. Chuck Colson, BreakPoint, August 1, 2006 www.breakpoint.org.
Mark Linton wrote and I agree:
A real man is the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says Oh Crap, he’s up! Brother, life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat u right. Forgive the ones who don’t just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Take a few minutes to think before u act when you’re mad . Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy . He just promised it would be worth it. Today is Brother’s day, send this to all your brothers, fathers, sons and me if I am one. Happy brothers Day! I LOVE YA BROTHER!!! To the cool men that have touched my life. Here’s to you!! A real Brother walks with u when the rest of the world walks on you. Send to all ur Brothers… Pass it on
I take notes for no other reason than to remember what I heard and who said it. I am not forgetful, just seriously distracted. That’s annoying to say the least. I have two videos on my cellphone. I need to take notes from so I can delete them. I have some business to take care of soon and will be glad when it’s completed.
I have spent the last week making calls and I still have another one or more to make.
Today. I have a delivery to make this afternoon, and some copies I need to make sure are ready to go. I have a pet bird I take joy in pestering and he dishes it out right back. God I promise You I will do my best to care for his needs. I promise to stick to the truth, obey the law (Municipal, State and Federal) as much as humanly possible.
I have things to do and places to go just like any other citizen does with funds and the transportation to do it all as needed. With whom I do things or go with and back is between me and them and nobody else. I pay for it, and I use it.
I live alone for now until God leads me to be elsewhere with someone else. Yes, I have those instructions too. Just have some hairpin turns and hills to climb as well as aisles to walk down.
Until I can clear some high and low hurdles with the Lord God’s unending help. It happens when it happens.
Joshua 24:15 NKJV
And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord , choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord .”
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Are You a Birdbrain?
“God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart. . .”
Have you ever used GPS? Many cars come equipped with it today, and you can get it on an iPhone or other mobile device. The problem is, sometimes GPS can lead you in the wrong direction!
I read about a motorist relying on GPS in Milwaukee who ended up on a snowmobile trail. Several miles down the frozen path, she stopped and couldn’t turn around. In about a foot and a half of snow, she had to call 9-1-1. The officer responding said, “People shouldn’t believe everything those things tell you.”
Take this sophisticated technology and compare it to birds. There are some amazing little birds God has created that have an internal homing instinct which is more sophisticated then the latest GPS technology.
Consider the Manx Shearwater. These amazing birds nest off of the coast of Wales. They are noted for their outstanding homing instinct. Scientists tagged and released a number of them at different points around the globe to see whether they could find their way back to the coast of Wales.
One bird was released in Boston, some 3,200 miles from home. In just over 12 days, that bird returned to his nest, having traveled 250 miles per day from a place it had never been before to reach its home again.
Then there is the Golden Plover. Native to Hawaii, the Plover migrates during the summer to the Aleutian Isles, 1,200 miles away. There they mate and lay their eggs, and their little fledglings are born. Then the Golden Plovers return to Hawaii, leaving their fledglings to grow up a little. What is amazing is that these little birds later make the 1,200-mile journey—to a place they have never been!
Try doing that with GPS!
That is an amazing homing instinct. So the next time someone calls you a “birdbrain,” you might take it as a compliment.
I think, in a sense, all of us have a homing instinct as humans. It is a homesickness for heaven. God has essentially wired us this way; the Bible says that God has “set eternity in our hearts” (see Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Just like those Manx Shearwaters and Golden Plovers, we have this built-in GPS. So follow that instinct!
I get called “lame brain” yet more educated than the one who said it, and balance a budget with people screaming at me. Thank you for the compliment, I have done what they think is impossible, and gone places and done things they think are fake with funds they claim don’t exist.